And here is Father. Strange stained ivory shirt crisp ironed khaki slacks and bare feet seated now standing amongst scrubbed clean pans, shaving rash patted down under cinnamon aftershave, a sign reading Say It With A Smile, mouse brown moustache, an antique blender sprayed inside with mashed bananas, thinning neat clipped brown thin wave hair, no dust or anything out of place, slight black bagged green eyes that twist as he moves into the light. I’m George, just pouring a fresh lager, you want one? Confident smile, with a strong English accent. No thanks, well alright, George, your son scared us badly outside. Brown ale, greasy beer glass splash glug, glu-Menace is staying quiet, he’s ready to snap if need be-G glug glug. Here you are, see we like to think we’re very liberal in this house, very liberal, right, dear? She’s slipped into the room, along with the son, nods. Like when Tom there. Hey Dad! Hey Tommy, yes, like when little Tom there decided he was going to become a vegan, I didn’t try to stop him, because I knew he’d be back on our side one day. Dad, you said we don’t take sides. Exactly, and now you’re back eating meat again aren’t you. Yep, because it’s the best source of iron, and it also protects us from the sleeping disease. What? Me and Menace flick heads and eyes at each other. Yes, it appears that there’s something in red meat that retards the- Hahaha Daddy said retard. Tommy! Sorry Dad. Accepted, yes there is something contained within high levels of red meat that retards. Hehehe sorry. Slows the spread of the virus, or whatever it is. You’ve been sleeping? No, not yet, but we haven’t been getting very tired either. How…how do you know this? Research, and talking to people on the net before it all crashed. Oh ok, so where are you getting the meat from. A spread of smiles and glints. Strong silence between me and Menace now. What’s wrong with your wife, why doesn’t she say anything? She wanted to go with the authorities when they came to collect us, but by the time they got here, she had very little to say, or to say it with, isn’t that right dear? She smiles and nods with enthusiasm, but a tear hiding waiting to release. Motherfucker. He ducks down and returns with a pointed kangaroo killer of a rifle from under the table. Please don’t stress yourselves anymore, it tends to make the meat stringy, now please, please, get down on your knees.
The Prettiest Nightmare