Inside I can’t smell disinfectant, I can just smell cheap vegetable soup they spoon into everyone in here. Signs are pointing everywhere. There’s fire extinguishers, lots of red and nurses sitting behind plastic bullet proof glass made to look happy. Level eight room thirty four. We go up. I want to walk slower. Bad walking on an empty stomach. The worst door to walk through is the last one. Be prepared. I already know that must be her behind the curtain by the window. They’ve sat her up. Someone else is behind there. A nurse changing a full body stocking and slowly lowering her hospital gown down over it. The last time I saw mum she had let her browny red hair grow out into grey. She smiled and had said that it was getting too expensive to dye anymore, and she was not ashamed to finally look her age. Here she is. Bobbing her head. Only her eyes can move anymore. She cannot smile. She cannot talk. She cannot raise her arms to hug anyone. Not even sure if she knows who we are. A slight movement in her lower lip, a long groan, not pain but self sympathy. She is trying to smile or talk. Nothing. Aunty holds. Aunty holds. I cannot. I smile. Hi Mum. Hugging her. It’s ok mum you’ll be ok. Sixty five years old. She retired three months ago. Suck bile back down, suck tears back down. Wipe the tears away inconspicuously before bring face back round. Wow it’s been a long time, I lost some weight huh hahaha, brought you a present too. Uncle is smiling distant. Aunty is off to find a vase. I clip the bracelet onto her wrist. Silver, she never wore anything else. She is trying to move again. Atleast I didn’t get this one out of a bin, remember I did that when I was fifteen and you found out that the sun hat was stolen from the Davidson’s bin, you never forgave me for that hahaha. She doesn’t know what is going on. The rest of the trip passes quick. Slight recognition in her eyes when we go. Back into the car again.